Ironically I have not blogged in back to back days for a long time. Today though I feel like spilling...what exactly I do not know. I guess we shall find out as my blog unfolds this morning.
I sit here this morning and think about life as it unfolds and I know I am truly blessed. I have 6 wonderful kids and an amazing husband! They are my life and without them truly I would be lost. So as I continue to think my mind wonders to the age old thought of "why is it so much easier to be nice to a complete stranger than it is to be nice to the ones we love"? What I mean by this is....when a stranger gets in our way and it is irritates us we tend to shrug it off when they acknowledge that they are in our way. Yet when it is one of our children it is so much easier to yell at them for being in say the kitchen than to say something nice to them about not being in the kitchen.
I often find myself getting frustrated at many of the little things in life, or the small things my kids or husband do. Yes I have to admit...I am the mother of 6 and I am a yeller. I do find most of the time this does not accomplish what I am hoping to. It either ends up in my husband and I fighting or one of my kids crying and in some cases yelling back. I tell myself next time I will not react this way....and the next time I yell. I am trying to find alternatives to the loudness, but it only seems to work temporarily. My husband and kids are my life, they are my world and yet...I yell at them at the drop of a hat. I never used to be this way. I rarely raised my voice...why now am I so quick to shout?
I look at my kids and do not know what I would do without them. Yes 6 kids can be tiring, but they are truly my inspiration. They are the reason I wake each day and they are my last thought as I close my eyes for the night. I know many of my parenting tactics are no longer the norm. I am pretty old school you could say. I still believe in spankings...I believe in the old adage "Spare the rod spoil the child" as many would like to point out that verse is NOT in the Bible, but the Bible is actually more harsh. The Bible clearly states "Beat your child with the rod for he shall not die". So until God tells me it is wrong to spank...I will spank! I do not beat my kids they get a whack or two on the bottom...and they are over it almost as soon as I am done. Even at that they rarely get spanked. Now the yelling...I do not feel is right, but I cannot seem to stop. It almost always seems to be my reaction after I have asked them to quit and they persist.
So I continue trying to improve this area sometimes I feel like I am making progress on the "road to recovery" from yelling and other times I feel like I have went all the way back to start. I have decided that this blog is not all about the roses and sunshine, but instead it is about me on my path to becoming a better wife and mother. I know I do the mothering job pretty darn well, but there is room for improvement. I have a little bit of issue dominating when it comes to being a wife. I guess lack of structure and discipline in our roles makes it easy for me to take over....I feel a strong family has a strong leader...but sometimes my strength is also my greatest weakness or even downfall.
With the Lord as my guide I know I will beat this, but the devil tricks me every time I think I am getting it right. I pray for strength as I start my day. I pray for guidance as I aspire to be a better wife and mother. So slowly I move forward on this road called "MY LIFE".
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