As I sit here trying to decide what it is I want to right today I feel lost. I feel the urge to write/blog, but I really have nothing.......so I sit, and I wait....and think about all the crazy happenings in my life....and I ponder and think some more about all the love in my life.
This is where I smile because I know my life is complete! Even amoung all the crazy topsy tervy backspins and flip flops I know I am the happiest mother and wife alive! We have our moments and our issues, but I could not really ask for anything else in this life! I have an amazing husband, wonderful children, a great family and an AWESOME GOD who saw fit to give it all to me. I have to put my trust in him and know he knew what he was doing when he entrusted me with these 6 little lives and when he place my husband and I together. He knew we both needed to work on who we were to become better people and he knows together we can figure it out....but we NEED his help. We cannot do this on our own....
I am trying to find my place. I know that sounds funny esp coming from me. But right now I am feeling a bit out of sorts. I love being a stay at home mom and I am the happiest I have ever been. I do not have to worry about anyone or anything outside of my family and that is the best feeling in the world. Though I find myself wanting to be there for those who have always depended on me in the past. I find it hard to let go fully, but know I need to. My husband and my children come first and in order to be who and what they need I need to let all else go.
Like I said trying to find my place and in some cases my groove....I look around and know that this is what I should be doing. I need to get our lives back on track and put back in order. Nothing makes me happier than getting to play with my lil girl and know that I will get no outside interuptions if I don't want them. She can have my full undivided attention and I LOVE it. I like knowing that at night my other 5 children are not competing with anyone else for my love and attention, it is just them.
Things seem so much quieter and more peaceful. We finally have a grip on us....Now onto the organization...I cannot seem to find it. The house is coming along great one moment, but I find it so easy to slack off. I need to get things in order so things feel more peaceful!
I have the most wonderful, supportive, loving, patient and kind husband anyone could ask for. He is my rock and my shoulder for comfort. I know with everything in me that we are a part of God's ultimate plan and that he put us together for a reason. I know he entrusted these 6 little miracles to us because he knew not only did they need us, but we needed them!
My life is so full and complete! I look into the eyes of my children and I know I am where God wants me to be....I also know he wants me to be the best mom and wife I can be too! This is where my strength in him needs to come in so I can be who he intended me to be, it is a growing and learning process....and boy do I have alot to learn!
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