Am I insane? Have I gone completely off the deep end? I feel I am being led to home school Brandon, but everything about it scares me. Do not get me wrong it intrigues me as well, but seriously...It scares the daylights out of me. What if I fail? What if God is not calling me to be my son's teacher...what if this is all me and I am turning a deaf ear to what I am being told? I am truly scared of making a mistake. Children are so impressionable what if....Then I think if this is from God he will not let me fail my son. He will give me the tools and guidance to do right by him. He will show me how to be a good teacher as well as mother to him. I CAN do this. One of my biggest reasons I believe with everything in me that this is God's calling on my life is I have NEVER been for homeschooling. I have been looking forward to having my next 2 yrs alone with Ren. And there are a multitude of other signs...my husband in agreement with me (which is a biggie).
Though now that I have decided to take on this task part of me is sad. I have wanted this time with Ren since she was born. I finally have it and feel like I am giving it up. Yes I will still be home with her, but it will not be just her. I am feeling a bit resentful that God has changed my plans. I believe God has a reason for all he does in our lives. He will make things work.
As crazy as things are I am putting my trust in God. I will continue to pray about God's direction for my life. I will pray for wisdom, knowledge and a patient heart. I will pray for God to show me his way and to give me strength. I will pray I am following his will and not my own desires. For he is my strength.
Right now I have a darling 3 yr old birthday girl wanting my attention and guess what....I am gonna give it to her gladly <3 font="font">
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